Procrastination will not be an option this time around.
My wife an I are renewing our vows next week in Vegas, and my only duty is to make sure that I don’t screw things up. And by ’screw things up’, I mean, “don’t forget to write my vows.”
I like to think of myself as a relatively funny dude. I have a nack for off-the-cuff humor, but when I write, I am not so funny. Unfortunately, I am finding this out now while writing my vows to the wifey. We want to make nice, light-hearted, and silly vows that incapsulate our marriage to-date, and I am having a bit of a hard time wrapping my words around everything.
You would think that a die-hard blogger would be able to write something at gunpoint, but not this guy. The only thing I can actually do well at gunpoint (ironically) is marry a girl who is 5 months pregnant. Baahzing!
I am trying to think of those little funny nuances that she has, and believe me, she has a lot, but it’s hard to find one that’s noteworthy or capable of retaining more than an ackward chuckle and an uncomfortable seat adjustment. Example: “I love the way you cook dinner and make me do the dishes after you’re done in the kitchen…” or, “I love the way you yell at me when I don’t clean out my car for a month, and then you get upset because we find 13 cups and a random spoon… seriously, who’s spoon is that?!? C’MON!” But seriously, my wife is a brilliant person who deserves the best vow-writer EVER! That’s why I will not SLEEP until these vows are written.
So, I have been looking at corney wedding vow websites for inspiration, and MY GOD!! THEY SUCK! Somebody throw me a bone here. Let me know what worked for you.
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
Did you like this article? Leave a comment...
How do I Quit Smoking?
If you liked this, then you may like some of my other blogs:
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
me and sarah had some wican/native american shit about the earth and the grand scheme of things. It was very eco/vegitarian.
But if i was you or I got to do it again:
A roast!
“Jenni Tanner everyone, lets hear a round, seriously, some one clap….but what can I say about jenni that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan, depleted, war torn, bad wardrobe….I kid I kid, but it is good to be hear, I’m happier than Michael Jackson at a Harry Potter book signing.
When I told my parents I was getting married to Jenni my dad gave me some advice, Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. They also told me Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
But lets see who is here…I see my brother Ben, I’ve come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are.
And here is Shane…oh, Any friend of yours … is a friend of yours.
So let me wind this down, jenni People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right.
Will you be my wife?”
huh! good stuff? no offence, just throwing it out there.
Wow! That would be a tough one to execute, so I think I’ll pass. I can only assume that if I said all that, the delivery would be ackward and unfunny. In writing it’s hillarious though.
Maybe I’ll just light a cigar and point at her while saying “Chacha – Hachacha, I luv ya toots!” and give her the old ‘Vegas wink’.
Or maybe I can do something like a moment of silent prayer and reflection. I’m afraid that she would see it as a cop-out though. However, if I said it with a tear and heavy breath, I bet I could pull it off. I could start off like this:
Choked up – “Some things in life cannot be captured in words, and sometimes they are beyond human comprehension. That’s why, instead of using my mounth to say things about you, I want to use my heart to let you feel what I feel” Then I place my hand on her shoulder and stare at my feet for 3 minutes, look up, and if she’s not crying it’s time to pull out the hail mary. I’ll ask everyone to bow their heads for a word of prayer. Then I would wing-it!
your both lame. and this topic sucks and is now over. Ugh.