Maybe I’ll just light a cigar and point at her while saying “Chacha – Hachacha, I luv ya toots!” and give her the old ‘Vegas wink’.

Or maybe I can do something like a moment of silent prayer and reflection. I’m afraid that she would see it as a cop-out though. However, if I said it with a tear and heavy breath, I bet I could pull it off. I could start off like this:

Choked up – “Some things in life cannot be captured in words, and sometimes they are beyond human comprehension. That’s why, instead of using my mounth to say things about you, I want to use my heart to let you feel what I feel” Then I place my hand on her shoulder and stare at my feet for 3 minutes, look up, and if she’s not crying it’s time to pull out the hail mary. I’ll ask everyone to bow their heads for a word of prayer. Then I would wing-it!

But if i was you or I got to do it again:

A roast!

“Jenni Tanner everyone, lets hear a round, seriously, some one clap….but what can I say about jenni that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan, depleted, war torn, bad wardrobe….I kid I kid, but it is good to be hear, I’m happier than Michael Jackson at a Harry Potter book signing.

When I told my parents I was getting married to Jenni my dad gave me some advice, Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. They also told me Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

But lets see who is here…I see my brother Ben, I’ve come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are.

And here is Shane…oh, Any friend of yours … is a friend of yours.

So let me wind this down, jenni People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right.

Will you be my wife?”

huh! good stuff? no offence, just throwing it out there.